I found the Next 49ers Head Coach

Jim Mora rules! 

or

Its time to make some decisions!

Three years of BLACK HOLE DVD REVIEWS

This site has now been around for three years. At present I want to write for many more, about the same kinds of movies. But what kinds are they? Here's a bit more about choosing what's in the Black Hole.

While I'm attempting to collect every single movie that I've ever enjoyed (preferably the original version that I first watched, maybe with the censor cuts replaced, and always in the original aspect ratio - this makes the process even slower), I'm very aware that many of them are only enjoyable because of a personal nostalgic memory. So while sifting through my favourites, I only like to recommend the ones I think could easily appeal to an audience today.

So, I'll carry on talking about the 1970's and 1960's, indeed any older movies that still hold up. I wanted to start a 1980's section, but when I watch the ones that I thought were good, I can't honestly recommend many - they seem to date much more badly than the other decades!

Of course I'm still looking for new films from all over. There's many news sites getting worked up about exciting sounding upcoming films, but I'm only interested in telling you about the ones that actually fulfilled their promises and manage to get subtitled in English, somewhere.

Although the J-horror bubble has burst in the eyes of many critics, there's still many Japanese films that I want to explore. I don't believe that Japan has stopped making good horror. They've been guilty of repeating themselves - but who hasn't? With so much creativity in an industry that still enables low-budgets and artistic vision, they're still able to be unusual and interesting. And I think there are many older gems yet to see.

My South Korean coverage has been comparatively lacking, because I watched many excellent films just before the Black Hole began. Because I like to write reviews while they're still fresh in my mind, it's only now that the time has come around to watch them again.

While I feel a little cruel reviewing films that are hard to find (in the Not On DVD list), it's good to see that every month or two, some of them are finally getting a release somewhere in the world. I'm still amazed at some of the classics that are still missing. But it's also to mention the smaller films that I think could still make their money back.

I might start including embedded movie trailers and clips again. I'm not a fan of the look of big blurry, randomly-picked freeze frames, of most movie-viewers. So, please let me know if they at all effect your enjoyment of this site. I only want to improve things, not include stuff you find annoying, unsightly or a drag on your load times.


When I started on this, I only wanted to wish the Black Hole a happy birthday...

"Every large galaxy has at its center a massive black hole"

WESTWORLD (1973) - when theme parks attack

WESTWORLD
(1973, USA)

Westworld is getting a DVD release in the UK this month. It’s also currently being prepped for a Hollywood remake. You ever been to Westworld, Futureworld or beyond?

Science fiction has long toyed with the concepts of sophisticated humanoid robots being able to replace humans. TV and film producers love the idea of robots that look like people because building robots is very expensive - Robby the Robot in Forbidden Planet (1956) was the most expensive prop in the film. Robots that look like humans (androids, to be exact) are a very cheap special effect.

In the 1970's, writers were still being inspired by the technology of the Disneyland theme park attractions, like the animatronic Hall of Presidents, and the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. This was specifically referenced in the 1975 thriller made of Ira Levin’s The Stepford Wives, and in Westworld - an expensive playground where adults dress up as cowboys, shoot gunslinger robots and shag robot dancing girls.

Westworld struck a vein, depicting the funland of Delos, deep in the desert, made up of Westworld (the wild West), Medieval World (sword fights, jousting, wenching) and Roman World (orgies).

While it didn’t predict that the electronic games of Pong would evolve into virtual reality gaming, the writer envisaged a reality re-created on a Hollywood-style set with robots fulfilling sexual and violent fantasies. In retrospect, I don’t think everyone would want to live out their fantasies in public, and not many businesses could really make money out of building expensive robots but having to repair their gunshots every night. But it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Written and directed by Michael Crichton, on a roll between medical sci-fi thrillers The Andromeda Strain (1971, based on his novel) and Coma (1978, which he directed), he injects a problem into the computerised resort. The machines start breaking down in a pattern that spreads like a disease, thus predicting the computer virus, but calling it a "central mechanism psychosis". Of course, this plot device was later recycled for Jurassic Park (1993).

Westworld caught the public imagination at the time, though it was a hard project to find financial backing. Crichton describes his script getting turned down all around town – perhaps executives liked big stars and directors with good track records more than they liked original stories. As a result, the movie is low budget, but still considerably smarter looking than other pre-Star Wars sci-fi at the time. After a lengthy set-up to explain what the Delos resort is all about, and some lightweight comedy padding (like the low-rent balsawood bar-room brawl), the pace tightens considerably as things start to go wornnnng… With the robot gunslinger programmed to get into fights, but his fail safe mechanisms deactivated, a deadly chase begins. As the other guests get massacred, one survivor has to fend off the unstoppable top-of-the-range killing machine…

This was an early starring role for James Brolin, before he rounded off the decade with genre classics The Car, Capricorn One (1978) and The Amityville Horror (1979). Richard Benjamin is better known for comedy, like the Dracula spoof Love at First Bite, but this and Catch 22 proved he had more range. Of course, Yul Brynner efortlessly recreates the look of his character from The Magnificent Seven (1960). His silvered eyes and removable face giving away his robotic status.


The functional sets are under-dressed and flatly lit, though the endless white corridors of the Delos resort work well as a maze. You can tell it from a TV movie by the 2.35 widescreen aspect, the bloody slow-motion squibs, and the hints of cyber-sex. In the UK, it got an AA certificate, restricting under 14’s from seeing it. I first saw it on a double-bill with Soylent Green.

The long final act with the unstoppable robot with infra-red vision anticipates elements of The Terminator, Predator (right down to a crucial plot point), even the robo-vision of Robocop. In fact, the American Cinematographer articles about Westworld (November 73 issue) point out that the gunslinger’s electronic viewpoint was the first sequence to use actual computer imaging – the footage was scanned in, digitally simplified and played out again. Westworld also features an early instance of the baddie who won't stay dead (before Jason Vorhees, Michael Myers and again The Terminator).


The paperback tie-in book that was sold at the time was simply a draft of the script, as it stood just before filming began – hence the different ending to the film. This has an interesting and thorough introduction by Crichton, talking about the making of the film.



Westworld spawned a sequel in 1976, but Futureworld wasn’t written by Crichton. It picks up years after the Delos disaster, replacing the resort of Westworld with an outer space simulation. But somehow the relaunch of the resort to the public also incorporates a sinister bid at world domination (a story continued in the short-lived 1980 TV series Beyond Westworld).


The story isn't as intersting as the actual NASA hardware used as a backdrop, all far more impressive than the many dull predictions of 'future' technology - holographic chess, dream machines, remote-controlled robot boxing… I remember it even being unexciting at the time. They even throw away the return of the Gunslinger character, using him for seduction rather than gunplay. But it’s not every day you can say that you’ve seen Gwyneth Paltrow’s mum (Blythe Danner) making love to a robot (Yul Brynner). Peter Fonda and Arthur Hill starred, though Danner's character makes more of an impression, playing a fiesty journalist.

Futureworld has now had a PAL region 2 DVD release in the UK.

49ers Game Recap

I think I will try to do a short game recap of the 49ers games. Lets hope they dont make the game almost unwatchable like some of the games last year. Well we lost! It was close for a while and most of the first half, after half time the Cardinals just were able to convert all of their 3rd downs, and had a few lucky calls go their way. 

The 49ers hurt themselves. Frank Gore fumbled the ball near his own end zone, he usually fumbles while near the opponents endzone! Then the next play Zack Keasey the new fullback fumbles after he catched the ball. Not good! O'Sullivan had flashes of good play. He was able to take the pressure and actually complete some passes under pressure, much different then the usual Alex Smith fall down, or run to the side line and throw a ball that is uncatchable.  And word is that Smith will be out for the year. Ok here is my thought, let it be done with. We made a mistake. We wasted a #1 pick on him. Sure it could be the 49ers fault for having no one to surrond him with but what done is done. I wish him well eslewhere but I see a David Carr career for Smith.

Anyway back to the game. The D was good for the most part, but they couldnt get a turnover. The Cardinals had the ball for almost all of the 3rd quarter! Overall they had the ball for 15 minutes longer then us, that is a full quarter.  It was so annoying watching them just keep driving. We had a three sacks which was nice to see finally!  We also had more total yards then the Cardinals had, so why did we lose? Easy..turnovers. We had 5 damn fumbles! We lost 4 of them and O'Sullivan threw one interception that was terrible. The D cannot be out there so long and still expect them to stay fresh.  The Cardinals trick kick offs were pretty lame. One time they kicked to Spikes the LB and he fumbles, so they do it again on the next kick off. Wow I thought that that was pretty weak, sure it worked but trying it twice? Reeked of desperation.  And last I heard Anquan Boldin said he wouldn't play for the Cardinals? When did this all get smoothed over? I wish he would have stuck to his word like a man and not decide everything is now ok, so he could come and tear us up like usual. 

Highlight of the game was Gore and his td run. It was an awesome sight to see him break that 41 yard run. Old man Edge was grinding it out and was effective, more so then he was last year. I think if we had cut down the turnovers and maybe stopped that grueling drive we could have taken this game. But its over ,we lost. Next week only gets harder and not getting a win at home against a beatable team hurts. I guess the only good news is that its early and we were not the worst team in the league. We scored as many points as the Colts and scored more points then 5 other NFL teams. 

Week 1 Grade:  D+

Why Dwight?

Just a few words on Kindergarten Ninja (1993).  I like watching cheesy movies and getting some laughs but this one was just terrible. Yes I did laugh and so did my friend but mostly at how utterly terrible the acting, directing, and the constant montage fighting scenes.  Best of all the movie stars Dwight Clark, yes that Dwight Clark, the legendary San Franscisco 49ers Wide Reciever. I think he did the movie because it was for D.A.R.E. and he wanted to get the word out about getting kids off drugs, in fact the start of the movie you get an actual San Leandro Polic Officer inform you about D.A.R.E. Anyway back to the movie Clark is Blade Steel and he likes to date more then one woman at a time and drive around town drinking. When a cop pulls him over he is so cool he offer the cop a beer! That takes balls! Somehow he winds up teaching kindergarten ? Anyway he gets help from an angel named Bruce (who is suppose to look like Bruce Lee) but you cannot tell since they never show his face, its fucking weird! But there is a badass Bruce Lee vs Elvis and George Washington in heaven scene. So the bad guy is called Hector Machette, awesome name! But he is making kids deal Buzz, the newest way to get high. Anyway i do not wish to ruin the greatness that is Kindergarten Ninja. 

If you are ever in the mood for some ultimate cheesy movie and want to waste 82 min of your life then see this movie. It holds more meaning to bay area fans. You even get a part in the movie were Blade Steel aka Clark, mentions his resturant and they actually have some text scroll saying where his own resturant Clarks by the Bay is located and give out an actual fucking phone number to call to make reservations! I guess this was one more reason he did the movie besides helping with the DARE program. I was able to find one clip on YouTube of the bad guy Machette kick ass and and taking names, he sure can beat up little kids good. The scene like most of the movie makes no damn sense. Enjoy, btw you can rent the movie on netflix if you ever want to, Why is this on dvd and not good movies like Night of the Creeps? Enjoy! 

Trailer Park

First off is the new movie from Kevin Smith. Zach and Miri make a porno. I like the cast for sure. Seth Rogen and Elizabeth Banks both star and the movie has a sort of Apatow meets Smith look and feel to it from the preview. BTW, the poster here to the left is actually banned. Not really sure why, I guess because the two heads at the bottom? But anyway you will not be seeing this poster in the U.S. So here is the trailer. I am so ready for some Star Whores!

The next movie I have been waiting around for for many years. It is the new Bruce Campbell movie, well not so new anymore. It is My Name Is Bruce and it is all about a small town that needs a hero and they think Bruce Campbell is an actual hero not just a movie star. The trailer looks pretty campy but I think the movie will be fun, and if anything else it has Bruce Campbell in it.  Here it is:

My NFL Predictions

I do this every year, here is my predictions for how the outcome of the NFL season will go.  The best thing about football is that any team can win the superbowl (ok not the Falcons). 

NFL 2008 

AFC 

East

---------

New England Patriots  14-2

New York Jets  10-6*

Buffalo Bills  6-10

Miami Dolphins  5-11

North

------------

Pittsburgh Steelers  10-6

Cleveland Browns   9-7

Cincinnati Bengals  8-8

Baltimore Ravens  6-10

South

-----------

Jacksonville Jaguars   11-5

Indianapolis Colts  10-6*

Tennessee Titans  9-7

Houston Texans  6-10

West

------------

San Diego Chargers  12-4

Denver Broncos  8-8

Oakland Raiders  6-10

Kansas City Chiefs  5-11

NFC

East 

---------

Dallas Cowboys   12-4

Philadelphia Eagles  10-6*

New York Giants  9-7*

Washington Redskins  8-8

North

-----------

Minnesota Vikings  10-6

Green Bay Packers   8-8

Chicago Bears  6-10

Detroit Lions  6-10

South 

---------

New Orleans Saints  9-7

Tampa Bay Buccanners  8-8

Carolina Panthers  7-9

Atlanta Falcons  5-11

West

-----------

Seattle Seahawks  9-7

Arizona Cardinals  7-9

San Francisco 49ers  7-9

St. Louis Rams  5-11

*- Wild Card Team